Hold on, to me as we go. As we roll down this unfamiliar road. And although this wave is stringing us along. Just know you’re not alone, cause I’m going to make this place your home. Settle down, it'll all be clear. Don't pay no mind to the demons, they fill you with fear. The trouble it might drag you down. If you get lost, you can always be found. Just know you’re not alone,cause I’m going to make this place your home.

Home - by Phillip Phillips

Monday, January 28, 2013

"What If " Girl

The Rock refers to me as the "What If" Girl and I remind him that it is a trait I inherited from my own mother.  Anytime we are making plans, doing our monthly budget or begininng a big journey I am constantly saying "What If?".  Thankfully I have a husband that is patient with my questions and concerns.  Again, that is why he is My Rock!

As we began this adoption process we had to decide if we were going to adopt domestically or internationally.  I can say that The Rock was definitely leaning more towards domestic while I was leaning towards international adoption.  A lot of this had to do with the "What Ifs", fears that Satan was putting in my mind and my own experience as a teacher.  Emotionally I knew that I could not handle losing another child at that time in my life and it was the fear of a birth mother changing her mind.  It was also the question of how long a domestic adoption would take.  The Rock also did not realize how much I had been researching international adoption and I felt God pulling me towards Asia at this point. 

 As a good teacher I decided that in order to help us make our decision we needed to interview friends who had adopted domestically and internationally.  We continued to pray, I continued to cry and The Rock listened to all of my "What Ifs".   By February of 2012 The Rock discovered that I can be determined once I have a plan in place and all of the signs were pointing to China.  Why China you ask?  Don't worry that will be a future post......just a fair warning :)  Before we could begin this journey I wanted to make sure that he was just not giving in to me and he wanted to really be a dad to child who did not have a father of their own.  God opened his heart and mind as we progressed on our journey. The verse that helped us make this decision is the one found at the top of this blog.  James 1:27.

Thankfully we only have one "What If" person in our household.  This is a weakness for me and I having to learn to WAIT and trust in God. 

The verse in my head today is this:

Proverbs 3:5-6

New International Version (NIV)
5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways submit to him,
    and he will make your paths straight.


I cannot wait to share the love of Christ with our Cherry Blossom!  Hopefully she will not inherit her mother's trait of being a "What If" girl.  There are so many other traits I would love for her to have :)
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1 comment:

  1. RoseycheeksFebruary 2, 2013 at 6:02 AM

    Thanks for sharing your blog with us! It's so fun to read all about your journey and what you are learning. The Proverbs verses you shared are my absolute favorite verses. Sixpence None the Richer (a band) does 2 different songs with those verses and we had someone sing one in our wedding. They are always a comfort to me in whatever I am going through. I am thankful they could be a comfort to you!

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